Alyssa Arrives Tomorrow

My sister arrives tomorrow morning. This brings a whole new set of apprehensions and worries. It is a different feeling than when Kurt’s mom was coming (which ended up being a very nice visit).

Like most sisters, we fought when we were younger. But probably unlike most sisters, we still fight. Fairly regularly, when we are together. About really dumb things most of the time. And it makes me very sad. I don’t know what happened along the way to make us never get close. Last year, for her spring break, we went to Italy. By ourselves, while I was living in Spain. We met up in Rome, and spent 9 days together. I felt the visit went well, and as it turns out, we both held our tongues on occasion. But overall, it was a nice visit. I am not sure why, but it has seemed in the years that I went away to college that our relationship is good when we are away from each other, but not when we are together. I am really hoping that will change. I may never understand her or she may never understand me, but I am truly hoping we are finally at the point where we can have some fun together and enjoy each other’s company. Since I have been down here, my communication has been slightly sporadic, only because I can not use the phone card to call home regularly like last year, and I still have to pay minute by minute on Internet because our apartment here in Jaco doesn’t have wireless. So in other words, I am not entirely sure of what has been going on in my sister’s life these last few months. I know she is very busy at school with her counseling groups and her trip chaperoning for the second summer in a row, but I don’t know anything else.

Is she happy?

Is she stressed?

Is work okay? Bad? Horrible? Wonderful? All of the above?

How is her social life?

Is she seeing anyone?

How are her gym sessions going?

Does she want to talk about all these things or does she just want to let everything go since she is on vacation?

How can I help with any of the things she might be stressed out about?

I guess these are all questions I can ask her, but somehow in a way where I am not forcing our relationship.

I just want to have a normal, sisterly relationship where we can laugh and talk and share and be friends.

I hope I do all right.